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June 26, 2010 / multiplesclerosis1209

Steroids!! And more Back Story

Today I picked up my steroids.  I have to take six pills today, five tomorrow, four the next day, etc.  They said I might feel energized and want to do stuff at 3am and not be able to sleep very well.  I’m waiting for the energy burst…. I just went to the mall for like 20 minutes and almost couldn’t walk after.  I’m freaking exhausted.  I got a triple shot espresso after the mall so that is helping.  I feel less exhausted which is good because we are heading out to dinner with friends tonight.  I’ve always been stubborn when I don’t feel well and just push through but that is nearly impossible today.  I’m learning to ask for what I need when I need it and realizing that my friends only want to help so if I say I’m exhausted and need a break, they will accommodate.

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Back to November of 2009:

In November-ish I had reconnected with an old flame via a social networking site.  We hadn’t spoken in over ten years.  We emailed back and forth and tried to make plans to get together.  I told him what I was going through and he seemed genuinely concerned and offered to help in any way that he could.  He offered to make me dinner if I came to see him.  We made plans to have dinner at his place and then about a week later, my lumbar puncture got scheduled for super early the morning after our “date”.  I canceled on him and we rescheduled.  We didn’t actually end up getting together until February.  I got to his house for dinner, he opened the door and I was so nervous that I just jumped in the door and hugged him.  We had an amazing time and we talked until 2am before I had to drag myself out of his house to drive home.  We texted while I drove home and made plans to get together a few days later.  We went out with a couple of his friends and then went back to my house for awhile.  We sat like a couple of school kids on the couch, nervous and wanting to kiss but neither of us had the guts.  I mentioned to him that I was an Animal Communicator.  He was skeptical but asked if I could talk to his dogs and ask if they were happy.  A couple nights later I spoke with his dogs and boy did they give me an earful.  His female dog told me that she wanted more “Swizzers” and that she loved her dad.  His male dog told me that he liked me and that I should be with his dad but don’t fuck with him (his words).  He then showed me a conversation that he had had with his dad.  It was his dad holding him up to his face saying, “We’re going to marry her someday Buddy”.  I texted him the next day and asked if “Swizzers” meant anything to him.  Apparently it did.  It was the made up name of some special treat he used to buy for his girl.  He got goose bumps all over and asked what Buddy said.  I told him I would email him the details.  Later in the day I asked if he wanted to get together that night.  I went to his house and we talked all about what his dogs had told me.  We ended up talking about our future together and the possibility of getting married.  We talked for quite awhile and then we finally kissed…and we were officially together.

We moved in together a couple months later and began planning our wedding.  Seriously.

By this point my medical bills had startied to pile up.  I had to quit my own business due to physical limitations and get a stupid part time job working for someone else making very little money.  Because of my low income, I qualified for a “charity” discount at the hospital but it still wasn’t enough…I needed health insurance.  I applied and was approved but they didn’t cover pre-existing conditions for the first nine months so I decided to not take it.  Once I was married to the man of my dreams, I would have his fantastic health insurance but the wedding wasn’t for a few months.  Well…….long story short?  We got married in secret this month by a close friend of mine and my health insurance will kick in July 1st.  My mother was there and my friend who married us brought his wife for our other witness.  It’s was a beautiful little ceremony and my man surprised me with my ring at the ceremony…and I surprised him with his.  After I’m insured I will be able to have a much needed MRI and will be able to do a steroid infusion when/if it’s ever needed.

Now that you have the whole story, this will be more like a journal for me to track my symptoms and set backs, relapses and remissions, treatments and drugs and the crazy roller coaster of emotions that make life crazy.

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