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July 1, 2010 / multiplesclerosis1209

Another Day At Home

Today I woke up worse than I have been the last week.  My legs are stiff and heavy and weak and I could barely stand long enough to feed the dogs.  I’m back on the couch watching Netflix today staring at the mound of dirty dishes that I simply cannot do.  Luckily we are going out of town this weekend and my mom is staying at our house and she can do some cleaning for me.  She is really enjoying being able to help me.  She drives me crazy but she’s the only person I have in my life that can come to my house and help me (and by help I mean do all of it).

One thought on my mind today is cancer.  Why is cancer the sexy disease that everyone wants to support?  At the grocery they asked if I wanted to donate a dollar to prostate cancer research.  I felt like giving the guy a piece of my mind but it’s not his fault.  This may sound harsh but cancer patients have the luxury of death.  They get to be done with it one way or another…remission or death.   MS has no break and no relief.  Even in “remission” I am weak and less than capable.  People with MS are at war 24-7.  We wake up everyday and as soon as we try to get out of bed we are reminded that we our bodies do not function properly.  Every morning I wake up and have to stretch my legs while they twitch and shake as I get my feet to the floor.   Once my feet hit the floor I have to wait for my brain to catch up.  If I stand up too fast, I fall over.  If I stand up and try to walk right away I stumble because my legs lock up.  People have a hard time realizing how difficult life is because most people with MS look fine.  The MS Society has a brochure called “But You Look So Good!” I’m stubborn and make an extra effort to walk like a normal person but I am learning through this relapse to ask for what I need.  I am also slowly learning to just freaking sit down and relax…and sitting down and relaxing does not mean that I am lazy.

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