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September 21, 2010 / multiplesclerosis1209

Still Not OK

So the antibiotics seem to have fixed the bladder infection but my legs are still bad, I’m exhausted and I’ve got the Cog Fog.  WTF??????  I had a job interview today and I think I did ok but I have a feeling he’s not going to hire me.  If he does hire me, how the hell am I supposed to learn a new job in this state of being?  I’m so fucking frustrated right now.  I’ve also been super irritable for the last few days so poor Hubby is walking on eggshells and trying to fix me all at the same time.  I know he gets frustrated too because he can’t fix it.  I get irritated by everything…simple questions because my brain isn’t working right…my husband touching me when normally I love to cuddle.  I just want to be invisible until I feel better again.  Why did I feel good for a few weeks and now I feel like shit again? My legs are so restless and weak and I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep.  I almost cried when my burger was undercooked which made Hubby feel bad for not cooking it long enough. He asks what wrong and all I can say is that I don’t feel good and that I’m having symptoms. I wish I could explain it better but I can’t while my brain is mis-firing.  I’m so tired of the roller coaster of symptoms but this is my fucking life now so I guess I should suck it up and get used to it, right?  Do people living with MS ever really get used to this?

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