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January 29, 2011 / multiplesclerosis1209

I Don’t Want to Hear It

People complain about everything and misery loves company.  Start bitching about any topic in the world and you’ll get at least one person nearby to join in.  People living with MS have so much that they could complain about but the vast majority of us try to look at the positives in our lives.  If we started complaining about every little thing that we have to deal with, no one would want to be near us.  Does the general population really want to know what we deal with on a daily basis?  No.  They would rather worry about that door ding on their BMW or the price of gas or who’s going to the playoffs.  Now don’t get me wrong, I get pissed if someone dings my car, when gas prices go up and when my team doesn’t make it to the playoffs but these things are not my top priorities.  These things are not going to change the world or cure any diseases.  People who live with debilitating diseases have bigger fish to fry on a daily basis so when things come up I ask myself, “How important is it?”.  How much energy do I want to spend worrying about each thing?  These days my mental and physical energy is limited so I have to budget.

Yesterday, my legs were feeling better than they have in a long time so I took my dog to the park.  It’s a small park but I still usually have to sit on the bench and watch him run around.  Yesterday, I walked three laps around the park!  THREE LAPS!!  Now this probably totaled less than a mile but for me it was huge.  I was smiling, taking deep breaths of fresh air and enjoying following my dog around the park.  Life was good.  On my third lap I felt like doing a fourth but realized that I needed to save some strength for grocery shopping so we packed up and left.

People take things for granted (as did I) like being able to walk in the park.  Today I don’t have endless amounts of strength and energy and I no longer have a “reserve” that I can rely on.  I don’t have a second wind so when I’m done, I’m done and physical exhaustion also means that my brain is exhausted.  I have to rest for a few hours and hope I get more strength.  I have to plan my days and budget my energy.  I’ve never been good at budgeting but I’m learning to say what I need and talk about how I’m feeling and Hubby always reminds to rest.  And when I start crying because I can’t complete a thought and I mix up my words when just two seconds ago I was laughing?  Hubby just holds my hand and asks what he can do to help.  My daily life is a roller coaster so, please say to  yourself, “How important is it?” before you open your mouth to complain.

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2 Comments

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  1. Matt / Jan 29 2011 2:26 pm

    What amazes me is when healthy people have these complex collections of things and they are miserable.

    I realize they don’t see it, that what they need is less, not more to be happy. They have so much they don’t see, like the ability to walk in the park with their dogs as much and as often as they want. That’s one of the good things about MS, you’re rarely unhappy because you have too much. That protects us of from a lot of unhappiness.

  2. multiplesclerosis1209 / Jan 30 2011 1:39 pm

    So true Matt. And thanks for reading!

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