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March 8, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

Mini Meltdown

Hubby and I went to the baby supplies store today to get some education on some things that we are going to need.  I know Z-E-R-O about babies and baby stuff.  We started with strollers.  I want a stroller that I can lean on if/when I get weak when I’m walking.  It turns out, no stroller can really handle any weight that way.  They just tip back wards. We found a couple that could handle a little leaning, but not much.  You know what else?  ALL stroller have brakes that you have to use with your foot.  That’s right.  You have to physically stop the stroller with your strength, then stand on one foot, then step on the brake that is underneath the stroller.  Sounds simple, right?  Not so much if you can’t lean on the stroller to get your balance in order to stand on one leg to step on the brake.  WHY do strollers not have hand brakes??

3/9/14 **UPDATE** I did find a couple strollers with hand brakes made by BOB but they are quite a bit more expensive than all the other strollers we looked at.

Second product: car seat.  I had no idea that car seats weigh like 7-15lbs.  That plus the baby in it adds up to a lot of weight to lug around.  Apparently most people take the entire car seat out of the car and put it in the stroller every time they get out of the car?  That is so much lifting.  I found a stroller/car seat system where the car seat was only 7 lbs but it wasn’t the highest rated in safety.  It was fine, but not the HIGHEST so Hubby makes a comment, “what’s more important than the baby’s safety?”.  I almost started crying.  I tried to remind him of how fatigued I am going to be and that every ounce counts, but we were in front of the salesperson so it was tough to really talk about it.  He didn’t mean to be hurtful, I just took it that way.

Third product: cribs.  Holy shit. Talk about epic realization of our future.  Did you know that some cribs convert in to beds that will last through childhood??  I’m not ready to choose a bed for our future 5 year-old!!  And of course the one that I liked the best was $600.  We should have looked at cribs first because by this time I was exhausted.  The cribs were so spread out that I think we walked a mile just looking at the floor models. We narrowed it down to three favorites.

And then, “pack ‘n’plays” or what I thought were called “play pens”.  Fairly simple and not too expensive.  My main concern?  Where is all this crap going to fit when we travel to the Grandparents?  I drive a Rabbit and I LOVE my Rabbit!

Finally, “cosleepers” or “rock ‘n’ plays”.  At this point, I have no desire to have the baby in our bed with us but for the first couple months, I want the baby right next to the bed.  We have very little space next to the bed so we need something narrow.  I don’t want to spend money on something we’ll only use for a couple months so we were looking for something that would last close to a year that maybe we could also use out in the living room.

At this point, we were both fried so we headed home.  When we got home I put on my pajama pants and crashed in bed then immediately started crying.   Hubby came over to console me but I couldn’t really explain what I was feeling so I just took a nap.  The only thing I keep thinking is that having a baby seems like so much work and that I don’t want to do it.  I know that everything changes once you see your baby and that I WILL love my baby but at this point I am overwhelmed and just want to cry.  When do I get to be excited about all of this?  Maybe in 10 weeks when I get to see his/her face on the ultrasound?  I though hearing the heartbeat would change my attitude but today I am just not ready or excited about this baby.

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2 Comments

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  1. Shannon / Mar 23 2014 5:46 pm

    Try to hang in there. I can’t promise the fatigue will get better, or the weight any lighter. I think I bonded with my first fairly early in pregnancy, but when the kicking and movement started, it truly made it all worthwhile. Don’t beleive all the hype that you have to buy new furniture, brand new baby bed. With a little looking, maybe the local church takes in donations, or the local consignment has something for you. Make sure the car seat is new though (one wreck and it has to be replaced…you just can’t tell unless it’s new.) Do not believe that you have to have a magic bond with your baby instantly. Don’t put that much pressure on yourself. Especially battling this crappy disease we have. It complicates everything. It took me a very very long time to bond with my second. I was worried that there was something wrong with me. But, each and every baby is different. I do feel there will come a time when you will be able to enjoy this. Please just hang in there and try to celebrate the small miracles of life:)
    ~Shannon

    • multiplesclerosis1209 / Mar 23 2014 9:53 pm

      Thank you, Shannon ♡ I needed to hear that (and of course it made me teary…).

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