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May 29, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

Today, I Hate My Life

Dramatic, I know.  But it’s the truth.  There has been some sort of construction going on daily next door to me for the past six weeks and now the city is outside on my street with a bulldozer about to do god knows what.  My home life sucks.  My house is the most stressful  place in my life.  My body hurts everyday and I have zero way to relax.  My new job is fine but it’s not great.  I’ve already gotten my first promotion so I get a teeny, tiny bit more money and a few more duties but I still have to be on my feet all day.  My MS symptoms are all still the same.  There has been absolutely no relief whatever since I’ve been pregnant.  My legs are like jello, I can’t take my meds for it, and I’m 12lbs heavier than I was when I was on my medications (and getting heavier).   I can’t hold my bladder and can’t take my meds for that either and I have a 13oz human resting on my bladder all day so I am practically pissing my pants every single time I have to pee.

Today is just about the worst day that I have had since I got pregnant.  We are looking to move but we are having a difficult time finding a place big enough for us that we can afford, in the town that we want to live in, that will accepts dogs.  We are traveling this weekend to go look at houses but so far no one has called us back to set up appointments.  I’m just crossing my fingers that it all works out.  We REALLY want to move to this town but it is not without sacrifice and work.   I’m trying to keep my chin-up, but I can’t stop crying today.  I just need a little bit of good news…..a little bit of hope.

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