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March 19, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

Fatigue Sucks

I’m officially 12 weeks along in my pregnancy and I am still exhausted.  Luckily I am unemployed still so I have plenty of time to rest.  With all this free time, I wish I had the energy to get stuff done around the house.  The dishes are piling up, the laundry needs to be done and my poor Hubby works full time then comes home to a filthy house.  Today he was sweet enough to stop by and bring me lunch and I was still in my jammies at 2:30pm.  He joked and called me lazy and told me to get a job.  Oh, the love we have for one another…  He should be happy I finally took a shower at 3:30pm since I didn’t take one yesterday.

Her I am at 12 weeks pregnant.  Apparently loads of women don’t even start showing until around 12 weeks but I have been showing since eight weeks and I’m already wearing maternity pants (which I’m not going to lie, are just about the greatest thing EVER).  Also, I would like to thank my dear friend who told me to get yoga pants.  If anyone reading this ever gets pregnant, buy yourself some yoga pants.  Seriously.
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So far I am still having my mild MS symptoms.  Mostly just stiff legs, muscle spasms in  my legs and bladder control issues.  I have read many articles and blogs by pregnant women with MS that say that their symptoms mostly subside and that they feel the best they ever have in their entire lives when they are pregnant.  I am still waiting on that.  Hoping the second trimester brings more energy, more bladder control and less jello legs so I can maybe get some exercise.   I would love to be able to go for walks with my dogs for more than a couple blocks and not wet myself or get exhausted.

March 8, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

Mini Meltdown

Hubby and I went to the baby supplies store today to get some education on some things that we are going to need.  I know Z-E-R-O about babies and baby stuff.  We started with strollers.  I want a stroller that I can lean on if/when I get weak when I’m walking.  It turns out, no stroller can really handle any weight that way.  They just tip back wards. We found a couple that could handle a little leaning, but not much.  You know what else?  ALL stroller have brakes that you have to use with your foot.  That’s right.  You have to physically stop the stroller with your strength, then stand on one foot, then step on the brake that is underneath the stroller.  Sounds simple, right?  Not so much if you can’t lean on the stroller to get your balance in order to stand on one leg to step on the brake.  WHY do strollers not have hand brakes??

3/9/14 **UPDATE** I did find a couple strollers with hand brakes made by BOB but they are quite a bit more expensive than all the other strollers we looked at.

Second product: car seat.  I had no idea that car seats weigh like 7-15lbs.  That plus the baby in it adds up to a lot of weight to lug around.  Apparently most people take the entire car seat out of the car and put it in the stroller every time they get out of the car?  That is so much lifting.  I found a stroller/car seat system where the car seat was only 7 lbs but it wasn’t the highest rated in safety.  It was fine, but not the HIGHEST so Hubby makes a comment, “what’s more important than the baby’s safety?”.  I almost started crying.  I tried to remind him of how fatigued I am going to be and that every ounce counts, but we were in front of the salesperson so it was tough to really talk about it.  He didn’t mean to be hurtful, I just took it that way.

Third product: cribs.  Holy shit. Talk about epic realization of our future.  Did you know that some cribs convert in to beds that will last through childhood??  I’m not ready to choose a bed for our future 5 year-old!!  And of course the one that I liked the best was $600.  We should have looked at cribs first because by this time I was exhausted.  The cribs were so spread out that I think we walked a mile just looking at the floor models. We narrowed it down to three favorites.

And then, “pack ‘n’plays” or what I thought were called “play pens”.  Fairly simple and not too expensive.  My main concern?  Where is all this crap going to fit when we travel to the Grandparents?  I drive a Rabbit and I LOVE my Rabbit!

Finally, “cosleepers” or “rock ‘n’ plays”.  At this point, I have no desire to have the baby in our bed with us but for the first couple months, I want the baby right next to the bed.  We have very little space next to the bed so we need something narrow.  I don’t want to spend money on something we’ll only use for a couple months so we were looking for something that would last close to a year that maybe we could also use out in the living room.

At this point, we were both fried so we headed home.  When we got home I put on my pajama pants and crashed in bed then immediately started crying.   Hubby came over to console me but I couldn’t really explain what I was feeling so I just took a nap.  The only thing I keep thinking is that having a baby seems like so much work and that I don’t want to do it.  I know that everything changes once you see your baby and that I WILL love my baby but at this point I am overwhelmed and just want to cry.  When do I get to be excited about all of this?  Maybe in 10 weeks when I get to see his/her face on the ultrasound?  I though hearing the heartbeat would change my attitude but today I am just not ready or excited about this baby.

March 7, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

Good News!

I saw my neurologist today and guess what??  I CAN TAKE MY OXYBUTYNIN!!!!!  She had her MS Specialty Pharmacist come and talk to me about the meds I was on and let me know what is safe and what is not safe.  Apparently Oxybutynin is as safe as Tylenol!!  The only major MS-related complaint I have had so far during this pregnancy has been bladder control.  I have wet myself twice already in 10 weeks.  When the pharmacist told me I could take my bladder meds as needed I almost started crying (and I didn’t even cry on Wednesday when I heard my baby’s heartbeat…).  This means I might sleep through the night tonight and I will have less fear and anxiety when out running errands!   This is such good news for me…I was starting to hate being pregnant because of my bladder issues which I understand only get worse as the baby gets bigger.  At least now I will be able to hold it when I have to pee so I have more than 35 seconds to find a washroom.

 

March 4, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

I Hate Surprises

I’m 10 weeks pregnant today, still sick with a cold/sore throat/cough and now unemployed.  I’ve written before about how psycho my boss is but I had no idea she could go to this level: she fired me.  I don’t want to go into all the details, but it was bullshit.  Every single person who knows s the story thinks it’s bullshit, not just me.  I’ve been an extremely loyal employee for two and a half years and at the first sign of anything less than perfect, she fired me.  She knows I’m pregnant and she knows I have MS yet she still found it totally acceptable to fire me instead of any other option.  As if job hunting isn’t stressful enough just having MS, now I have to job hunt knowing that I am going to be taking at least a couple months off work in just a few short months.  Who wants to hire a pregnant chick?  I also have more physical limitations that ever before.  What sort of job am I going to be able to get that pays well enough and that I can handle that can get me through all of this??
For the first time in several years, I feel like a cripple again.  I’m trying to focus on the positive but there just aren’t a lot of job options out there that I see that I could handle.  Thank you, Boss Lady, for being the biggest asshole I’ve ever known in my entire life.

February 26, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

Pregnancy is Exhausting

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Week 9 and my fatigue is nearly as bad as my MS relapse fatigue. And to top it off, I’ve got a cold. It all hit me yesterday. Fun times. At least I still don’t have morning sickness. I’m hoping that once my cold is gone I will have a little more energy but I’m not holding my breath.  AND I have to be at work today….ugh. I’m off tomorrow and hoping to have enough energy to go buy maternity clothes since my pants are already uncomfortable. 
Today, pregnancy sucks but tomorrow is a new day.

February 12, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

Seven Weeks In

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I am seven weeks along and have very little to report, which is a good thing.  My neurologist gave the ok to see a midwife and we have our second appointment in a few weeks.  Apparently we might be able to hear the heartbeat!  That might put this all into perspective.  I’m excited about being pregnant but it still doesn’t feel totally real. My boobs hurt and I feel bloated but that’s about it for physical symptoms.  I’m off all my MS meds so I’m dealing with jello legs and urgency with the bladder but nothing major. I guess I should be grateful.  Maybe it will feel more real when I start talking to people about it all. So far only a few friends know.  We head to our parents’ houses next weekend to tell them all which should be a lot of fun. I made the cutest little announcements.
I’m hoping to blog my way through this pregnancy but not sure how consistent I’ll be. I would like to have a pregnancy journal and this seems like an easy way to do that. Not all of it will be as boring as this one. Promise.

January 22, 2014 / multiplesclerosis1209

Life Changes in the Blink of an Eye

I seem to only come back here to blog when big things happen and this is no exception.

I’m pregnant.  We found out yesterday.  I can barely even say it out loud yet.  It doesn’t seem real. We decided to go off of birth control a couple months ago just to see what would happen.  We weren’t exactly trying to get pregnant, but we decided to give it a go for a few months.  Well, it sure didn’t take long.  We are excited and nervous and in shock and not sure quite what to do.  I’ve told some of my best girlfriends and my mom but other than that, we are waiting to tell people until probably the end of the first trimester.  I bought prenatals last night and made an appointment with a midwife for next week hoping that she can give us some much needed guidance on what we need to be doing and/or preparing for.

My husband and I met with my neurologist last Fall to talk about details of pregnancy and MS so we could go into this as informed as possible.  I’ve done a little research but now that there is a bun in the oven (apparently the size of a poppy seed) I feel the need to do a lot more.  I’m not going to lie, the idea of having and raising a human child scares the shit out of me.  People say no one is ever ready so I guess I’m right on track.

If you have MS and have experienced pregnancy and breast feeding, please feel free to give me as much advice as you can.  This next year is going to be a doozy for sure.

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